Involuntarily Unemployed: Curse or Blessing?

Conquer Fear Every Day

The Heartache

Two months ago, I was feeling great about my job. I had been at the company for 7 years and unfortunately the company was bought out and went through many re-organizations in the last two years I was there. One of the re-orgs forced me into a department and position I didn't want, didn't ask for and didn't feel I was qualified for. I was devastated. I was demoted in order to move to the other department and I felt de-valued, unappreciated and fell into an extreme depression. Every day I walked in to the office after that was humilating and depressing.

Eight months later, I was feeling better about my job. I thought I was doing so well! I thought I was doing great making the best of a bad situation. I went overboard trying to make it work. I literally worked 7 days a week. Logging in to work (I worked from home) at 5 am and never fully logging out until I went to bed. My phone was glued to my pocket, I answered it during family dinners, dates with my husband, days I was so sick in bed I couldn't move.

I took every course I could find to re-train myself for the new position. I paid for a membership to an industry association and went to monthly meetings and classes. I signed up and paid for a certification test for my position that I was scheduled to take this summer.  I followed all the directions of my manager and literally threw every thing I had into being the best I could be, including putting up with daily severe emotional abuse from employees in other department. The emotional abuse was so bad I literally was in tears most days.

Despite my best efforts, the company went through another round of lay offs. I was laid off on 02/02/2018. I again felt de-valued, humiliated and devastated. Especially, because some of the employees they did keep worked half has many hours as I did, put much less effort in and had been at the company far less time than I had.

Climbing Out of the Hole

So now it's March. It's been a hard month. I still don't have a full-time job. I spent 3 weeks crying and panicking and feeling like giving up. I still have those days.

However, some other things are happening too. I'm feeling a bit better.

As I get farther away from that job, I get more perspective. I realize that it was a job that made me miserable. The company was toxic and provided no support. They allowed verbal and emotional abuse. They expected you to give up your life in exhange for a paycheck.

Now that I'm unemployed I'm re-discovering life. I'm spending time with my husband and my dogs. I learned I love chickens and gardening. I can't stop planting. I have time to learn new things, craft and actually talk to people that aren't co-workers. Most of all, I'm slowly gaining my confidence back, instead of being beat down every day, I'm learning that I'm better at things than I thought I was.

Only a month end, life is still really hard right now. I need to find full-time work or life will be even harder. I'm starting to be grateful though that I was laid off. I think it may be just a bit more of a blessing than a curse.

Hopefully my unemployment journey will be a case of one door closing and a much better one opening.


Losing Weight in 2018

In an effort to remain accountable this year, I'm shaking up the blog. No longer will it just be reviews and recommendations, tips and tricks, now we're getting personal.

lose weight
Source: Pexels

It's March of 2018 and the year has started off pretty badly. Even though I try to remain an optimist and choose joy every day, the hits just keep coming. So far.

1. I lost my job and have no current prospects for a new one.
2. I weight the most I've ever weighed.
3. My favorite Aunt, really my second Mommy, had a major stroke and then was admitted for a heart valve failure that will require open heart surgery tomorrow.
4. I no longer have medical insurance and the prospects for future medical insurance are looking dim until I find a new job.

Needless to say, the year is going downhill already.

And so! What to do? I've decided to start with things I can control.

Number one is my weight! No one can fix my obesity for me, no one can make that change but me. So I'm working on the change, one baby step at a time... And I've decided to share my progress here on the blog. The only way it's going to work this time, over all others, is if I remain accountable to someone. And so, I have decided to remain accountable to everyone.

Step 1.
Step 2.
Give up Dr. Pepper
Step 3.
Make good choices
Step 4.
Move more

And that's it, that's all I plan to do. Let's see if it works!

Step 1. So far I've tracked three days in a row. I'm using the Lose It app, premium version. It's simple, cheap and there aren't too many bells and whistles to worry about. I'm tracking the good with the bad. I don't care if it's a glass of water or a Cadbury egg, it's going in there. So far so good.

Step 2.
Give up Dr. Pepper. This is the hardest one. I'm a hardcore addict. An average of 6 can's per day, no less has been my regimen for 5 years. (Probably the main reason I weigh so much). As of three days ago, I cut it down to 3 per day and I've been religiously tracking them. So far so good. My head hurts, I'm so sleepy, but just three! Once I get through the detox pain of cutting in half. I'll take it down another and another until they're all gone!

Step 3.
Make good choices. I've been trying hard on this one. Not choosing diet food for every meal, but the better choice of every meal. Soft chicken tacos instead of hard shell tacos. More carrots then meat at dinner. Fruit instead of candy for dessert.

Step 4. Move more. This is the hardest for me because it's painful and exhausting to move at this weight, but every day I try to move a little more. Yesterday I didn't stop, cleaning house, sanding wood for projects in the garage and just generally getting off my chair more. I moved so much I hurt when I went to bed.

Day 4
I've lost 4.8 pounds in 4 days. I know that will taper off and that's only due to the mass amount of sugar detox, but it's a good start!

What do you think? Can I do it?


The Vegan Holiday Cookbook by Marie Laforet

the vegan holiday

First, let me say the Porcini Mushroom Risotto is literally the creamiest, tastiest thing you'll have all year! I don't care if you're Vegan or a ravenous carnivore, you're going to love this Risotto. Ditto for the Mushroom and Walnut Ravioli and the Orange Carrot Cake. Everything in this book is so lusciously delicious. 

The book itself is paperback, but it's a larger edition high-quality paperback so it will definitely last. Each page has gorgeous food porn style photos. These are photos that you want to practically sink your teeth into. 

I can't recommend this book enough. As a cookbook collector, I love having this in my collection. I'm not even VEGAN! But this book is packed full of deliciousness for everyone!

Disclaimer: A free copy of The Vegan Holiday Cookbook was sent to me for review purposes. All opinions are 100% as always.